Category

The TV

10/02/2015

Compare The Terminator Dot Com

For those of you who are still in mourning from Baby Oleg’s disappearance in the acclaimed meerkat-based adverts, we have some excellent news for you. And for those of you who couldn’t care less about Baby Oleg, what kind of sicko are you? Did you have a bad childhood, or something?! Arnold Schwarzenegger, the man behind some of the funnest, greatest movies ever made (and Batman & Robin. Sigh…) is to appear in an advertising campaign with Aleksander, for Compare the Market. A source said that Arnie “won’t come cheap,... Read More

22/08/2014

Neigh-tflix

Long gone are the days of writer’s block. What shall I write about? A sitcom about six friends who visit a coffee shop has been taken. There’s already a comedy about a man who ticks things off of a list so karma will be good to him. And I can’t believe they beat me to that mockumentary about working in an office is taken. Again, what shall I write about? I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before – it’s so obvious. An animated comedy show about a booze-guzzling... Read More

28/07/2014

Lucky There’s a Simpsons Guy…

If anyone else struggling to look away from the amount of weird chins? The title is a work in progress, okay?! If you turn down your radio; switch off your iPhone and listen carefully, you will hear the whimpering screams of a thousand dragon-dressed nerds. San Diego Comic-Con (or SDCC for those that find saying that seven-syllable phrase too time-consuming from their game of WoW… What’s with these fans and their love for abbreviations?!) saw many releases from the world of TV and cinema, including Wonder Woman’s look for Snyder’s superhero... Read More

06/05/2014

Why I Wish the Joker Won

“And you promise me that Ben Affleck won’t appear in the series at all?!” Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. It may look like I’m singing the opening to the Batman theme tune, but I’m not – I have an awful stutter. Let’s try again. Na-na-name your favourite superhero franchise. You said Batman, didn’t you?* You’re in luck, then; FOX has announced an (annoyingly) Gary Oldman-less prequel to the intensely husky-voiced crusader’s tales, Gotham; a focus on police official, James Gordon. And for that, we’re bloody relieved. Gordon does a much better job than Batman. And here’s... Read More

11/04/2014
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Breaking Good

There’s still a large face-melting, meth-producing, exploded-plane-debris-dodging shaped hole in my heart. That can only be filled by one man and one man only… Could this be the weirdest introduction to a post on this blog? The final episode of everyone’s – literally, everyone’s – favourite show, Breaking Bad, aired on September 29, 2013 and no-one has been able to get over it. It, therefore, seems unfair that only those aged 18 or over can watch the series – it’s not the kids’ fault that they were born at this specific time. Which is why... Read More

03/04/2014
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The Only Way is EsseXXX

“Is there really any point trying to cover yourself up now?” Take a seat on my couch. Tell me what’s troubling you so. Why have you sought out psychological assistance? You saw what?! On last night’s episode of The Only Way is Essex, you were presented with a – ahem – nude photo of James Argent? Now I understand why you’ve visited a psychologist. The treatment may be a long, arduous process in order to help you erase the-image-that-must-not-be-named; just be relieved because there are a lot more worserer places... Read More

18/03/2014
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Quick Fire with Bluey

Bluey Robinson is a rising star in the music world. With over 6 million views on his YouTube channel and over 10,000 downloads in the first 24 hours of his free LP ‘The Late Shift’, the reception of Bluey’s music has been incredible. Having collaborated with Labrinth and toured with the likes of Justin Bieber, Alicia Keys, D’Angelo, Trey Songz and recently just completing his own sell-out headline tour in the UK, Bluey is someone to keep your eyes and ears on. An incredible young talent whose songwriting influences range from old classics such as The Jackson... Read More

10/03/2014
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HOW TO… Save BBC Three

The BBC have announced that they are to close BBC Three in order to save £50 million. And the BBC clearly stands for Big Babies who Cry. Good one. The home of Little Britain, Russell Howard’s Good News, Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show, Gavin & Stacey, Family Guy, American Dad!, Bluestone 42, Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents and Don’t Tell the Bride – not that we watch that; of course not – is due to close in 2015. But we can think of fifty other ways the BBC could save... Read More

08/03/2014
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Breaking Birthday

It’s the birthday of everyone’s favourite meth-dealer… No, not Stanley, the creepy taxi driver who offers you free rides to KFC – I’m referring to Bryan Cranston. That was probably a bad introduction; Bryan only played a meth dealer. If the DEA break down Bryan’s doors and arrest him tomorrow, I apologise, world. 59 today, Bryan Cranston can be seen in some of cinema’s most critically acclaimed films, including Saving Private Ryan, Little Miss Sunshine, Drive, Argo and Godzilla. But who really cares about those when you’ve defined television in... Read More

03/03/2014
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The Alternative Academy Awards

“I’ve proved I can do Academy Award winning films, so can I now play Spider-Man?!” Hollywood was graced by the most beautiful, talented, charming celebrities. And Piers Morgan. It was Oscars night last night – not Pistorious’; his is tonight – and while we’re so glad about the success of the likes of 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club and Gravity, what we really want to see is actors being poked fun at. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first – and most definitely last – Alternative Academy Award,... Read More

27/02/2014
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The Blues Go Yellow

Petr Cech, Eden Hazard, Fernando Torres, John Terry and Frank Lampard have all been Simpsonized. Rather fitting for Terry who has certainly done enough worthy of saying “D’oh!”. And that’s being generous. In a deal with Twentieth Century Fox, Chelsea has partnered up to create merchandise featuring the iconic yellow family. Meanwhile, a “soccer-themed” – yes, I did feel dirty saying soccer – episode of The Simpsons is set to air in the US next month that will see Homer employed as a referee at the World Cup tournament in... Read More

04/02/2014

The Best Ads of Super Bowl

“I’ll be back… Combing my luscious locks from now on” The Denver Broncos were thrashed more than a character in a Steve McQueen movie. Given that the game didn’t live up to much and that Bruno Marssssssss – sorry, I fell asleep on my keyboard – performed the half-time show, the ads were (again) the best reason to stay up late – and call in sick on Monday – for the Super Bowl, this year. From the usual bout of high-action, explosive movies, to luxurious motors, here are this year’s... Read More